The other day I went to the house of one of my relatives in a metropolitan city. Those were summer days and the outside cityscape was melting down by the scorching heat. I was one of the braves who decided to move out of their comfort zones and travel through the heat radiating concretes. Until when the driver started the bus, I was completely drenched in sweat. Even the moving bus didn’t help much, as the wind coming inside through the window was hot enough to dehydrate me all up.
As we crossed the concrete jungles and passed through the big trees and green fields, I felt much better, as if someone lowered the temperature setting. All the way through I observed that temperature increased around city area and slightly decreased in plantation portions. I remembered the concept of Urban Heat Island that was taught during my masters. And the other day I was experiencing it.
I observed the variations of temperatures in an open area, around the buses at the bus stand, in a small street, besides higher buildings and in a high traffic area. Indeed there was a variation. Many of us have observed this but very few of us know the exact reasons and effects of Heat Island Effect. So, let’s discuss it.
Heat Island Effect
Heat Island Effect or Urban Heat Island is a phenomenon where there is an increase in temperature of the surrounding in a concrete city as compared to the areas with same climatic conditions but lesser human settlements. This can more readily be experienced than read about. Many people don’t even realize the phenomenon created by their buildings, roads, vehicles and population unless and until they are told about.
The main concept of UHI is the reflection of light or albedo. More the reflection of light or albedo, lesser will be the retention of heat and vice versa. The reflection of light from a substance depends upon its colour, darker an object more light it would absorb and more heat it would emit out. So, we can easily say that the darker colours of roads, pavements, buildings and their roofs readily absorbs more light and radiates more heat.
According to US Environment Protection Agency, the temperature a city can be 10℉ higher than the adjoining rural areas. Also, cars and air-conditioners contribute to the heating effect making the cities an island of heat.
The Urban Heat Island Effect is prominent during the night hours, when the atmospheric temperature decreases but the concrete cities radiate the heat they have absorbed the whole day, making the surroundings warmer. According to Roland Pellenq, Senior Research Scientist in MIT, the gridding pattern, density and layout of a city plays an important role in defining the temperature of that place. He suggested that if a city has a loose layout like a liquid molecule, then there are chances of less heat retention as compared to the tightly or orderly structured layouts which can absorb and radiate more heat. Also, there is a free movement of air in un-patterned cities as compared to disrupted air flows because of perpendicular gridding layouts of streets in an organised city.
How can we reduce Heat Island Effect
• Trees help to reduce the temperature by the phenomenon of evaporative cooling, in which the unused water vapours get evaporated into the atmosphere, reducing the surrounding temperatures. So, definitely planting more and more trees can help a lot in this scenario.
• Painting the roads, pavements, buildings and their roofs in lighter colours which absorbs less light can help in reducing UHI effect.
• Growing of plants and gardens atop of a building’s roof as a ‘Green Roof’ can also help in reducing Heat Island Effect.
• Using appliances with a good Energy Star rating will help in reducing the heat and pollution contributions from the appliance side.
• Reducing use of air conditioners and cars can reduce the emissions of greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide and nitrous oxides into the atmosphere, thereby reducing the temperature.
• Installation of a water body around or in-between a city can help in reducing the air temperature considerably, also keeping the city cooler than before.
The space is so deep, dark and a mysterious world. Being an earthy thing, we can only observe it as a wide blanket of darkness spread all over our heads touching the ground from every corner. Tiny sparkling lights which we call stars spread all over it make the mysterious blanket more perplexing.
“See there’s the Milky Way our galaxy” said my father one day to a 10 year old me while we were walking in our lawn after dinner. “What is Milky Way?” I exclaimed in wonder.
“It’s our galaxy.” “What is a Galaxy?” “Where many stars are clustered together.” He politely answered my questions, pointing towards a whitish patch of space within millions of stars. For me everything he said had no logic because I had no idea where I was looking at. All I could understand was that in that deep infinite sky there existed a mysterious cloud that stretched beyond stars.
Suddenly he pointed towards a moving star “See there goes a satellite” I was amazed and confused at the same time. How can a star move? I had never noticed them moving before and what was a satellite. I asked my father all these questions. Again politely he answered, “A satellite is like a plane that fly high in the space. It rotates around earth.” The amazement of the fact increased eagerness in me to know more and more about the space.
From that day onwards I never missed a chance to look at the night sky, to discover what’s new there and to know more about it. There was a chapter about the universe in our science textbooks. Although I read it already many times by myself but each time a new mystery would uncover and yet another would fall upon. So, I eagerly waited for the turn of that chapter to be taught by the teacher in the class. Finally when it was taught, I listened to the teacher attentively and whole heartedly. That day’s evening and night was very special for me. I had learnt many things about the space, about stars, planets, milky way, constellations and satellites and I was eager to discuss everything with my younger sisters.
We three took a walk in our orchard and as the darkness started to materialize, we climbed to our godown’s roof. I asked them to lie down on the cemented terrace facing towards the sky. I started telling them everything that I learnt in the classroom and that my father told me. We then started counting the number of satellites that crossed the sky. We were so involved in the infinity that we lost the track of time. It was already the dinner time, so we had to leave but I wanted to stay there, watching the sky forever.
From that day onwards I created a routine of observing the night sky. Whenever I went to the school library, I would ask the librarian for books related to space and universe. Each photograph and fact mesmerised me and ignited my curiosity to a different level. In the evening I would go to the terrace and would explore the sky. Even I made a star tracking note book in which I drew the star chart, wrote the names of the stars and planets that I identified and traced their positions on the sky at a specific time. I was so into the space that I didn’t care about my home works or academic status. Those days there was no internet, no mobile phones, no computers even we didn’t have a cable connection for our TV. So, my research sphere was limited to the teachers, my parents and books.
After some years, I came to know about astronauts, the space travellers. Kalpana Chawla became famous around that time. I too aspired to become an astronaut like her. I too wanted to explore the limits of space; especially I wanted to see the infinite beauty of space from above the limits of earth. I started reading about her that she too aspired about the space since her childhood like I did. Then some years later, sad news of her demise during a space mission became a hot topic everywhere. I felt extremely sorry about her but the incident never reduced my passion about being a space traveller.
At that age I had just an ambition, I knew what I had to be but there was a major loop hole. I was in a space where there was a least exposure, I had no idea what I needed to do to be an astronaut. Nobody ever told me. I was just in my limited expanse doing whatever my consciousness told me to do, unaware of the competitive world out there. So, until my 10th standard I was totally unaware of the education system and the standards that needed to be qualified to be there in that space shuttle seated on the cockpit and gazing out at the infinite space.
So, when did my eyes opened to the reality?
It was in my 10th standard when during a Yoga class, our then Principal asked each one us about our aims in life and advised each one us about the path that would lead us to our goals. Finally my turn came and I revealed my ambition, after thinking for a while she replied, “That’s very different goal. As much I know for being an astronaut you need to study mathematics.”
That was the moment when the world stopped for me. All my dreams were shattered, my soul was in a deep depression and all my mind’s activities ceased. The day was the saddest because the only subject I hated in the world was ‘Maths’. I was so weak in it that even I used to pass it on points. I didn’t know why but the portion of my mind dealing with the numbers and calculations was in a deep sleep. I cursed all those adults and grown-ups who never told me the path to my dream that I had to improve maths to fly to the space. They never gave me a hint about the scope of mathematics. My ambition, my dream, my existence was at once shattered just because of mathematics. And even the face off with the reality was too late that there was a limited scope for me to improve.
Still I tried my best that year to improve myself in maths. I asked my parents that I wanted to go for extra tuitions in mathematics, I gave most of my time and brain to numbers and calculations. I improved, literally but not to that extent. In boards exam I passed the subject with average score. But for me that was a great improvement. Although I scored brilliant in all other subjects but my heart was there in maths for my dream to know the infinity.
In the senior secondary classes I had an option to choose between maths and biology; unfortunately because of my fear about the competition in the non-medical field, I backed myself and chose the subject in which I was good at. The chapter of my childhood ambition of becoming an astronaut was closed from that moment.
Later in my college days, I came to know about the vast scope for being an astronaut. The dream that I was chasing was actually to know more and more about the space and the universe and what I quit in my high school was the technical side of it. There was and is still a hope for me to visit the space. In my third year of college, some space agency announced and invited interested people for one side Mars travel. I was happiest to the highest level. Even I filled the form and decided to save the money for the expenditure that was to be paid by the selected candidates (which was around 300 million dollars). That was extraordinary I know; my that step reminded me of the movie ‘Up’ in which a couple tries to save money for their whole life to visit their dream place the Angel’s Fall. But because of other emergency expenses they always had to use the savings on those things because of which they never fulfilled their dream.
And here I am still waiting for that opportunity which will take me to the space. I’m not rich economically but I’ve read in the book ‘The Secret’ that the thing which you want desperately will definitely come to you and for which the whole universe will conspire to make sure that you get what you are wishing for. Nothing is impossible in this world.
The way I look at the stars, the milky way, the Orion, that tiny five starred cluster Pleiades, the Ceres of the Orion, the Pole star, the moving satellites, the meteorite showers and everything that the sky have, make me happy and satisfied as if I belong to there, as if my true existence is there. Whenever I feel distressed, I look up at them; they surround me into their calmness and provide me with their cosmic positivity that satisfies my soul. Even I wanted to close my eyes for the last time watching the stars and space only.
I was happy that day as I met with some of my close friends from school. They came to meet me in my college. I entoured them through the college and showed them everything and every place that was worth watching. We discussed so many things about our lives, the people around us and the old memories that we spent together. The whole day we roamed and ate a lot. In the evening they decided to head back to the main city to board a bus from there to their final destinations. I wanted to spend few more moments with them so I accompanied them to the city from my college.
We borrowed a bus from the college gate and kept chattering even in the bus. Finally after waving them goodbye, I boarded a bus back to my college. I was lost into the day’s timeline, rewinding our talks and the jokes that we cracked on each other. A lady occupied the seat beside me. I was tired, so decided to take a nap while we reach back to the campus.
I was completely lost in my dreams that I didn’t even realize that the bus had travelled almost all the way. Suddenly I was woke up by an uncomfortable poking on my abdominal obliques. As I gained my consciousness, I noticed that the bus was almost empty and only 3-4 people were sitting in there included me and a weird man sitting beside me. I was surprised to see him there, as the bus was almost empty and there were many seats where he could have been seated. I felt weird and uneasy. Also the bus driver and conductor were looking at me and laughing, I didn’t know why but everything seemed to be really awkward. I gained all my consciousness and ignored everything. Again I felt as if the person sitting beside poked me and started coming closer to me. The weirdness of the moment rose to a peak.
The wicked laughter of the driver-conductor, the emptiness of the bus and the weird man sitting beside me were annoying me now. I was literally disgusted by all of those men. I literally wanted to slap them all.
And then the weird man again tried to poke me. I was finally fed up of all that and busted out at him with all the volume that I had. With extreme outrage and anger in my face I was about to slap him when he stood up and ran away to change his seat. I kept staring at him and at those awkward driver-conductor duos, with all my anger. They at once stopped laughing and their faces dropped to a serious mode. When the weird man saw my outraged face, he immediately asked the conductor to stop the bus. He was literally frightened by seeing me in Kali avatar, so he tried to flee away from the bus.
I kept staring at the driver and conductor in anger until I reached the campus. The moment I climbed down the bus, I felt a strong chill in whole of my body. I felt a little relaxed but at the same time extremely horrified by that event. I wanted to cry and shout aloud to relieve myself from that distress. I regretted the moment when I slept, cursed myself for being so sleepy. The whole day that I spent happily and positively was ruined by a few obscene men who not even once regretted their inhumane behaviour.
That was not the only moment when I got abused or harassed by a man nor these kind of incidents happened only with me. Almost every girl or a lady from my friends, sisters, mother, neighbours to the unknown women out in the world of every religion, caste and status, get abused by a man in a crowded bus, train, public areas, in their localities and everywhere possible. Even I have not met with a single women yet who said that she was not abused at all in her entire life. But why? Why almost every woman is a bait of a man’s desire? Why do men seek opportunities to harass a woman? Why they try to satisfy their stupid desires by distressing someone else? Why don’t they stop? Why they are not aware about their inhumane actions?
May be because they think that women are just for their entertainments or they might have been taught from their childhood that men have right to do whatever they want. That’s why they are ignorant. They don’t care about anybody else’s feelings; all they care about is that they had to satisfy themselves. But whose mistake it is? Could it be because of the men who did everything they want without any fight back; or the environment in which they were brought up whether it is around their parents or friends or teachers; or could it be the education system that failed to actually educate them.
But what we can do? How can we stop these cheap people? By ignoring them, so that they do not harm us more or by exposing them and teaching them an appropriate lesson. The former one was taught to me by the society where I live. But I totally denied that method. Earlier in my childhood and through my teenage, I got harassed many times. You see small girls and teenagers are these mockers favourite preys because they don’t have idea how to react and whom they had to tell about that all. So, was the case with me. But as time passed, I learnt a very important lesson from all those experiences, that the second option is a must to-do.
If we, the preys, let those mockers know that what they are doing is wrong, then only we could stop them. We need to defend ourselves, show our outrage and tell them that we are not just blossoms of a delicate plant that they can easily pluck and destroy. We are the thorns too who can protect ourselves fully and prick into the trespassers to teach them a lesson, so that they could never ever think again try to exceed their limits. If we women can maintain decorum, why can’t men. I know all men are not the same. There are many who are descent and gentle, but still there exists a majority of them who have, at one time or the other embarrassed or harassed or abused or molested a girl.
Why can’t they understand that we feel extremely bad when someone stare at us, we feel offended when someone stare at our private parts, we feel abused when someone tries to touch us purposely without our consent, we literally feel suppressed when someone instead of helping us just laughs and enjoys the moment when we are being abused, and we feel to end everything when the society declare us the culprits and instead of punishing the culprits judge us on the basis of our clothes and inattentiveness.
Are we the culprits? Yes we are because we let them all judge us, suppress us and let them laugh at us.
My family moved inside the house but I still remained outside praying for the living beings that were harmed in the recent incidents. The cause of the disaster was still not confirmed and I was still boggling my mind, when suddenly a fireball projected from behind a mountain. I was startled because the mountain range from where it came from should not be emitting anything as it was just opposite to that from which the fireballs projected the previous day. I was still scratching my head and the projectile just landed in front of our home. My eyes remained wide open at the sight of the thing that I earlier thought as a fireball. It was more like a big glass sphere. Suddenly it split into two and a man came out of it. I looked at him startled. The man looked divine as whole of his body emitted light and his face was very attractive that I could not resist my eyes from him. He came near to me and he talked, “I’m here to take you to the place where you originally belong to.” I was surprised. He continued, “I’m from a planet that is in a different dimension in the space. You too belonged to that planet in your previous birth. You were an important personality there. After you died we tried to search your soul in every dimension and finally we found you here. I will take you back there as we need you.”
I was shocked obviously, and didn’t want to convince myself of every single word that he told. I didn’t have any idea what he mean to say. I already had so much of tensions of the recent past events and then that space man and all of his theories looked fraud to me. I tried to abscond back to the house to call my father to teach him a lesson. Noticing the expressions of disagreement in me he spontaneously projected a view of that planet and its people in the air. I looked at it with my eyes wide open. I was too busy in watching what he has projected when the space man murmured some kind of spell on me. I was hypnotised. My brain freezed and all I could think about was that planet and the people there. He then raised his hand and one more spherical shuttle projected from behind the mountain and landed before me. The transparent mouth of the shuttle opened wide. It had seating for a single person and a couple of coloured buttons. I jumped into the object and the space man into his. The module started up automatically and within no time it was ready to shoot up into the unlimited depth of the sky. I looked at my house gazed it for sometime and with a sudden blow my consciousness came back. I panicked as my shuttle rovered above the ground but even my desperate efforts didn’t yield any good for me.
The space craft at once attained the speed of light and within no time we were out of the earth’s atmosphere. All I could see then was dark space over which dots of light of various sizes were to be seen. The moment was literally dream come true for me as I always wondered that I belonged to the space. And the night used to be my favourite time as then I could watch the stars, the moving space objects and the traces of our galaxy Milky Way. Watching my aspirations come true brought tears to my eyes. I was so lost in exploring the beauty of the space when my shuttle slowed down as we approached near the destination planet.
The planet’s aura was spread to a wide distance in the space. It looked almost similar to our planet with many landforms or continents and water bodies. As the shuttle approached the planet, I noticed many similarities and dissimilarities to Earth. The continents there were variously coloured from deep red, brown, yellow, white to purple, pink, green, blue and black which were changing positions as they floated over a vast stretch of dark blue ocean.
Suddenly a message popped up on the virtual screen in the space of my shuttle that asked me to choose a destination n continent of my choice from the map that showed up in that screen. I was confused as I didn’t have any idea about the continents or the planet. I just clicked randomly over the white continent. The shuttle then moved towards the continent and glided over it. As the space craft moved closer, the landforms started to be visible in detail and the real picture of the place started uncovering. The continent was not actually what it appeared to be looking like. The white portion that glowed up like snow was in reality white water and some small islands were scattered all over the continent. It had no hint of any kind of life. I was astounded by the weirdness of the place but at the same time an unusual familiarity of that view made dragged me towards it. Flying over the landscape gave me home like feeling. I didn’t know how that place was linked to me in the previous life but I surely noticed by then that I definitely shared some productive time with the planet, especially with that definite area.
The speed and the height of my space craft declined considerably. I investigated about the landing site but I could not see any suitable surface where I could stand after landing. I was stressed out and somewhere cursed the past events. I closed my eyes, consoled myself and harnessed all my energy to be strong and calm at the same time. I wanted to uncover the mystery of that planet, the space man and all those events that happened in the recent past, so I patiently waited for the right time. The craft landed over one of the small islands that were not bigger than a moderate house. The shuttle opened up, I was worried about the air there but to my surprise I could breathe comfortably. I came out of my shuttle and observed the whole surroundings. There was no one to be seen around, all I could see there was a vast stretch of whiteness on the ground as well as on the sky.
The space man came to me and directed me to follow him. I was thirsty and hungry by then as we had travelled for so long. “I’m feeling thirsty; can I drink that white water from the river?” I asked the space man with a hope that he would understand and provide me with some actual drinkable water. “Yes definitely you can. Even it can fill your stomach if you are feeling hungry.” With a surprised face I looked at him. Then I came near the water source, put my hand inside the water and took out some in my palm. The water was sparkling like diamonds; I had never seen a liquid so beautiful before.
We walked for a few metres and then the space man stopped and stood still for some time. He then pressed his temples in the forehead and within seconds the ground split into two revealing a secret room. Everything seemed weird to me but I still went inside. Through a staircase we came across a bright hall where there were many other space men and women. I was glad to see people around regardless of who they were.
In the middle of them stood a giant space man, he was having a dumbbell shaped metal object in his hand that he kept rotating around his head. He then started addressing the crowd, “Dear folks, here we have our renowned warrior back with us. After so many centuries we have struggled to capture his soul but he fled to a far away land that too growing with a body of a lady. Still whatever the past was, here we have him back and now we will never let him go.” I was confused that whether he was saying about me or anyone else. “Yes you lady or our warrior. I’m telling about you definitely.” I was surprised but still I didn’t recall any of my past life except that part when I flew over the continents. “Now when you are back I want you to immediately attain your position back and safeguard our continent as well as the planet” he exclaimed.
I was still confused as I didn’t know how I would guard the continent as I remembered nothing. That giant man noticed my confused face and he said, “Do not worry, we will train you first and will try to revive your memory and only then we will give you back all your responsibilities.” I was comforted by his words. Then the space man came to me and signalled me to follow him. He then told me about many things on the way that I was the only guard of the planet who knew each and every type of warrior arts. I was very precious to the planet that’s why they searched me everywhere. I was slightly convinced by his theory, but I wanted to ask many things more. Somehow, he already knew my questions so he answered them all. “All that happened in your place from the fireballs and the explosions was just an illusion. We wanted no earthlings around you when we came to pick you so we had to disperse them from that place and that was the only idea I can think of.”
“So, is everything alright there now?” I enquired. “Yes definitely, everything came back to normal immediately after we left.” I didn’t ask anything more from him. He then took me to my quarter that was under the ground in a long tunnel neighboured by few more quarters.
I was comfortably flying over the continent and ordering others to follow my instructions. As I flew through our white continent I rejoiced the time when I decided to trust that space man who was none other than my brother in the previous life. That was the time when I recalled all my memory and rejoiced being a space man.
I was in my house with my family, drinking the hot tea and discussing about the daily chores in that cold winter evening. We were laughing and helping each other in the usual evening rituals. My mother was busy in the preparations of the dinner and my father just sat near the fireplace eating groundnuts. I laid forward my feet near the fireplace to absorb the warmth of the fire. My sisters too sat near me. I always loved winters because those are the times when all of your family spend most of their time together. We were celebrating a perfect evening and we were so into our talks that we didn’t even notice our neighbours’ loud voices. Suddenly a loud noise shook our house. We were extremely terrified by that sound. Everyone went outside to enquire about the thing that had just happened.
As we went out we noticed all our neighbours and the village people were crying out loud as if they have seen something horrifying. But to our surprise, we could not see anything. The three sides visible from the point where we stood were normal but there was the fourth side obstructed by our house and the big persimmon tree and everybody seemed to be looking in that direction only. So, I moved little far from the house to a point from where I could see what was not visible otherwise. My mouth was wide open when I saw smoke coming out of a mountain that was just behind our valley. Everybody was wondering about the reason of that gigantic never ending plume of smoke. Everybody thought that a war has been initiated and our enemy had dropped a bomb on that mountain. But a thought popped up in my mind that how an enemy would drop the bomb without any aircraft and if any aircraft was used then its sound would have definitely made us notice it. Moreover the smoking mountain had no habitation and this fact convinced me somehow that the smoke was definitely not from the bombardment. Suddenly I recalled something that I had learnt in the school that the mountain behind our valley had hot springs and geysers which were created because of the presence of a dormant volcano underneath them. I shouted loudly that it might be a volcanic eruption. Everyone was confused of my suggestion as nobody has ever heard about anything like a volcano even not from their ancestors. I tried to explain them about the volcano, its dormancy and why nobody ever told them about it.
Everyone was thinking about what we need to do. Some of them immediately fled away. My father ordered us all to get inside our jeep so that we could too run away to the safer places. We were about to climb downstairs from our lawn when another explosion shook everything around. From that second eruption fire balls started flushing out. They started falling everywhere. Everyone panicked and the atmosphere was filled with cries and screams of the terrified crowd. Without wasting anytime we ran towards our jeep that was parked at almost 50m distance from us. But suddenly hit our jeep, and with it each of the family members became petrified. We had no option left than to run on our feet. We ran continuously through our fields, roads and the forests without resting anywhere. It was dark already when got tired. We had crossed the danger line and reached to a safer area, so my father suggested staying for the night in the nearby village. The villagers were very welcoming, they helped us with whatever they could.
The next morning, everything seemed to be calmed down. My parents started discussing about the loss that they might have encountered. We met many other people who were also displaced from our place. They all were disturbed from the recent events. Nobody had the latest update of the place and they even didn’t have the courage to go back and enquire about it. I wanted to go back as something inside me was forcing me to do so. I tried to convince my parents to return to our home which they rejected hastily. I was very desperate to go back so I decided to by my own. I was about to leave the village when my mother came to me and told me that our family will too join me. We started our journey back to home and till the evening we were there. The house was not harmed at all but almost all of the adjoining areas were still lit by fire. I raised my eyes to observe the surroundings, the mountains that were earlier home to lush green plants, wild animals and tribal people were now converted into pyres. The misery of the environment was very depressing; watching this entire scenario a stream of tears rolled down from my eyes.
My family moved inside the house but I still remained outside praying for the living beings that were harmed in the recent incidents. The cause of the disaster was still not confirmed and I was still boggling my mind, when suddenly a fireball projected from behind a mountain. I was startled because the mountain range from where it came from should not be emitting anything as it was just opposite to that from which the fireballs projected the previous day. I was still scratching my head and the projectile just landed in front of our home. My eyes remained wide open at the sight of the thing that I earlier thought as a fireball.
I was in my house with my family, drinking the hot tea and discussing about the daily chores in that cold winter evening. We were laughing and helping each other in the usual evening rituals. My mother was busy in the preparations of the dinner and my father just sat near the fireplace eating groundnuts. I laid forward my feet near the fireplace to absorb the warmth of the fire. My sisters too sat near me. I always loved winters because those are the times when all of your family spend most of their time together. We were celebrating a perfect evening and we were so into our talks that we didn’t even notice our neighbours’ loud voices. Suddenly a loud noise shook our house. We were extremely terrified by that sound. Everyone went outside to enquire about the thing that had just happened.
As we went out we noticed all our neighbours and the village people were crying out loud as if they have seen something horrifying. But to our surprise, we could not see anything. The three sides visible from the point where we stood were normal but there was the fourth side obstructed by our house and the big persimmon tree and everybody seemed to be looking in that direction only. So, I moved little far from the house to a point from where I could see what was not visible otherwise. My mouth was wide open when I saw smoke coming out of a mountain that was just behind our valley. Everybody was wondering about the reason of that gigantic never ending plume of smoke. Everybody thought that a war has been initiated and our enemy had dropped a bomb on that mountain. But a thought popped up in my mind that how an enemy would drop the bomb without any aircraft and if any aircraft was used then its sound would have definitely made us notice it. Moreover the smoking mountain had no habitation and this fact convinced me somehow that the smoke was definitely not from the bombardment. Suddenly I recalled something that I had learnt in the school that the mountain behind our valley had hot springs and geysers which were created because of the presence of a dormant volcano underneath them. I shouted loudly that it might be a volcanic eruption. Everyone was confused of my suggestion as nobody has ever heard about anything like a volcano even not from their ancestors. I tried to explain them about the volcano, its dormancy and why nobody ever told them about it.
Everyone was thinking about what we need to do. Some of them immediately fled away. My father ordered us all to get inside our jeep so that we could too run away to the safer places. We were about to climb downstairs from our lawn when another explosion shook everything around. From that second eruption fire balls started flushing out. They started falling everywhere. Everyone panicked and the atmosphere was filled with cries and screams of the terrified crowd. Without wasting anytime we ran towards our jeep that was parked at almost 50m distance from us. But suddenly hit our jeep, and with it each of the family members became petrified. We had no option left than to run on our feet. We ran continuously through our fields, roads and the forests without resting anywhere. It was dark already when got tired. We had crossed the danger line and reached to a safer area, so my father suggested staying for the night in the nearby village. The villagers were very welcoming, they helped us with whatever they could.
The next morning, everything seemed to be calmed down. My parents started discussing about the loss that they might have encountered. We met many other people who were also displaced from our place. They all were disturbed from the recent events. Nobody had the latest update of the place and they even didn’t have the courage to go back and enquire about it. I wanted to go back as something inside me was forcing me to do so. I tried to convince my parents to return to our home which they rejected hastily. I was very desperate to go back so I decided to by my own. I was about to leave the village when my mother came to me and told me that our family will too join me. We started our journey back to home and till the evening we were there. The house was not harmed at all but almost all of the adjoining areas were still lit by fire. I raised my eyes to observe the surroundings, the mountains that were earlier home to lush green plants, wild animals and tribal people were now converted into pyres. The misery of the environment was very depressing; watching this entire scenario a stream of tears rolled down from my eyes.
My family moved inside the house but I still remained outside praying for the living beings that were harmed in the recent incidents. The cause of the disaster was still not confirmed and I was still boggling my mind, when suddenly a fireball projected from behind a mountain. I was startled because the mountain range from where it came from should not be emitting anything as it was just opposite to that from which the fireballs projected the previous day. I was still scratching my head and the projectile just landed in front of our home. My eyes remained wide open at the sight of the thing that I earlier thought as a fireball.
Our board exams were approaching and I was trying hard with all the subjects. I was an average student but I knew that I could prove and show better side of me. Even though physics and chemistry were sometimes challenging but I never quit on them. Our school was actually a battle ground where every other student was better than other. The competition was very tough and expectations were very high. Adding to the distress, our principle divided the whole class into different categories according to one’s ability to score.
Our education system is no doubt an arena for bull fighting, where everyone is forced to feel extremely serious about the bookish things. From morning till night students are stuck to the black and white letters on the never ending heap of papers. Nobody bother about the real happiness and enjoying the present moment; everyone is though always forcing themselves or other fellows to achieve a secure future (which is no doubt an illusion as nothing is stable in this universe). And for achieving those futures, the present of students are forced into struggles, anxiety and depression.
No student can ever forget those feelings of lacking behind from their fellow student. Even scoring average or below average in a test would give our teachers a chance to judge us and think as if we were destined to land no-where in our lives. No body gave any importance to mediocars or below average scorers. School’s interest were only to get merit toppers whose photographs could be decorated in their pamphlets to attract more students to grow their business. See what an education society we have created.
And I was totally grasped into that education society. Since morning to night, I just kept studying. My body, mind and soul were all engulfed into books. As the days passed by and final exams landed upon, my brain became over active. I reduced my sleeping time to reduce any wastage. I didn’t know what I was doing to my body, all I cared was that I had to learn and store more material in my mind. I hardly slept during those days. I would sleep at 11 or 12 in the night and would woke up randomly at around 3 or 4 in the early morning. And that was not good for sure, unknowingly I was harming my body and brain.
On my first exam, as the invigilator handed question paper, I quickly went through the questions, I was content and knew answers of them all.
I picked a question that I could attempt the best and started writing answer to it. As I wrote the first line, my brain literally washed out. That was the best topic I knew but not even a single word about it came to my conscious brain. It appeared as if I had heard the topic for the first time. I looked around, everybody was lost into filling their sheets, some even had completed a page. I was becoming more anxious, and then I thought of leaving that question and attempting another one. Once again I couldn’t gather anything in my brain.
An extremely weird instance happened to me for the first time. I was stressed and anxious and wanted to cry aloud.
Time was slipping like sand, I had to write but words vanished away from my brain. Somehow I managed to attempt the questions. Luckily one of my good friend was sitting next to me, she saw my red and impatient face, and offered to help me. That day and that exam proved out to be the black day of my life. My whole year’s hard work and knowledge were all gone and I had no idea why that happened to me.
For the next exams everything repeated again. I was depressed of my mind’s backstabbing. My brain started becoming numb and empty. I couldn’t even remember names of classmates, was not able to do small calculations and finally crashed my common sense. My life became a total hodge-podge. For many days I kept crying, isolated myself from the society. I was in a state that I could have done anything wrong without consciously thinking about it.
I didn’t even get time to recover myself, as we had the competitive exams just after about a month or two.
Most of my classmates and friends were going out for crash course, I too joined one course and started preparing for entrance. The problem worsened and I was most of the times struggling to wake up my mind. After the exams I came back to my home. But one more problem entered my life – the expectations of my family.
I was in extreme depression, without even knowing about my problem. There came many moments when I wanted to end everything up, but somehow I didn’t.
Thankfully I came out of all these situations after a year or so, when I joined my college. But many people are not lucky enough.
According to a data of the year 2017 from World Health Organisation, more than 560 lakh people in India are under depression. Asian Journal of Psychiatry published a paper in 2016, in which more than 700 students were randomly surveyed and it surprisingly revealed that more than half of them were under depression.
Most of these cases are not handled or counselled before they become suicidal. According to NCRB (National Crime Record Bureau) for the year 2015, every hour one student commits suicide in India. A data between 2011 and 2016 reveals that 49,249 students have already ended up their lives. Hindustan Times published a news report on 5th January, 2018, stating that the major reasons for the depression and resulting suicidal cases are parental and societal expectations, new competitive environment and ragging.
This is bizzare and most of the times, an ignored topic. The main problem is that we don’t talk about it; we never care about stress and anxiety. We never guide or share thoughts of a depressed person. I know everybody is busy in their lives but can’t we contribute to save someone’s life. Yes we can, it is our moral duty, we don’t have to be robots, we just need to become humans who have emotions and care for the fellow beings.
What-to-do or How to cope up with Depression :
All advices are based on my personal experiences.
The first and foremost thing that you need to know and believe is that your life and body are more valuable than getting into a prestigious college or scoring high in exams. These all are human induced things which have no meaning or gurantee in achieving happiness and satisfaction in life.
Meditate – Close your eyes and let your thoughts about your life, situation or future go off from your mind. For few minutes let everything disappear, and concentrate on the sounds coming to you, of fan or vehicle or chirping birds or chatting people and finally of your own breath. This exercise will definitely help you to reduce stress and calm down your body.
Give your brain quality rest. Sleep for atleast 6 hours, unbroken or in one go. Never split your sleep timings into many small instalments, this will only end up in making your brain becoming more inefficient.
Try to sleep early and wake up early in the morning. It is an efficient way to harmonize your body to natural diurnal variations; and with time will prove out to be more productive way of utilizing your mind.
Eat healthy and never skip meals. Avoid fat, oily, sweet and salty food and eat more proteins, carbohydrates and vitamin rich food like fruits, vegetables, pulses and grains.
Try to make good friends. The one who are motivating, positive and ready to help you in every situation. Try to share your feelings with them. However, don’t harness expectations from them as it can some day harm you only.
Love yourself, feel good about yourself. Don’t worry if you couldn’t learn quickly or solve a problem, that’s all right its completely normal. You can definitely achieve your goals someday, not by forcing yourself but by accepting who you are.
Lastly, try to write your feelings down on a paper to yourself, as you are definitely the best mentor and guide of yourself. Believe in yourself.
What not-to-do :
Never force yourself into anything. If you are not able to handle any problem or situation, leave it there, sit down somewhere and calm yourself, then rethink about other ways to handle the situation.
Never ever think negative about yourself and never harness any thoughts about ending your valuable life. We have got life for once, we don’t even know when we will be gone, so why to waste it in harnessing negative thoughts. Become positive and spread positivity to the world too. Trust yourself.
I opened my eyes and saw the daylight. I was in a big subtle ground filled with people. I didn’t remember anything, about the place, why I was there and even who I am. All I could understand was that I might be sleeping from a long time and after waking up I felt refresh like I never felt before. I stood up and moved towards the stalls that were spread all around the ground. People were talking to each other, some laughing aloud and some sat under the stalls sad and tired. There were many faces that I didn’t recognize. I tried to recall my past but no picture or thought could be ventured, as if I have lost that part of my brain which had stored all the memories of my life. I walked through all the stalls; there was nothing in there, only people sitting in groups, discussing about something very serious. I wanted to know what they were talking about but hesitated to join the strange faces.
One after one I checked almost every stall. I didn’t know what or whom I was searching there, may be that was an obvious human nature, to explore everything that is unknown. And then I heard a chatter and laugh of a group of girls. They were coming towards the ground from a far end. I kept watching them in amazement as I heard the sound of laughter in that melancholy environment. As they approached me, I started recognizing their faces. The positive spark of their smiles and laughs was transmissible and I too started smiling with them without any reason. Their faces looked familiar and then in a fraction of second I remembered who they were. They all were girls from my college, they were my classmates. They too recognized me. We met with each other in full enthusiasm. We discussed about the college, about that dull environment of the ground. I was happy that atlast I recalled my college memories. Those were good days and my classmates made those days special and memorable.
I talked to them for a while and then I left them to move forward. They were in a group, although I was their classmate but they were best friends and I felt a little awkward with them because of few reasons – firstly they were talking about themselves and their lives which I had no idea about; and secondly, although I have recalled them and the college days spent with them but not to the fullest, all the moments that they discussed in which I was not present with them, I was not able to picturise that. So, I decided to leave them there to enjoy with themselves.
I walked through that ground exploring every nook and corner upto which I can go. There were boundaries all around it, so I tried to search the entry or exit point to move out of it. I was unable to find one and once again I came near the stalls. Again I saw people outside and inside sitting in groups, discussing very serious topics. Their faces were sadder than before. And then I saw the group of girls that I saw before. Now they sat inside one of the stalls. They were worried and sad now. I could not see a smile on anybody’s face. They were talking about something and comforting each other as if, something happened that they didn’t expect.
I moved a little towards them to hear what they were talking about. One of them said, “That is a terrific and a horrible thing.” Other consoled, “We can’t help it.” And another added from behind, “Atleast we are together and not left behind to remorse.”
I was not able to understand what incidence made them sad and talk like that. And then one of them spoke again which made me realize why I was feeling so strange about everything there, “We are dead now! And everything is left behind. Our family, friends, jobs, savings, relations, and everything!”
Now I started making sense out of everything, why everyone in the stalls was sad and what they would be talking about. The mere idea of death had desolated everybody. But I was still not getting it. I was confused about the expression of death because I didn’t remember what it was, who I was. The only thing that I could feel and understand at that moment was that I too was dead along with all those who had gathered in that ground.
I was engulfed by all these thoughts and the surroundings. I didn’t know whether I was sad or what kind of emotion was gripping me but for an instance I thought that I had nothing to be sad about. I was still looking at the girls, when a stout boy came near me. He jerked and looked at me with a smile. As I saw him smiling, all the distress that had engulfed me vanished away. Again I felt that positive spark, I felt good about that moment.
The stout boy spoke in excitement, “Why are you standing here? Don’t you want to go beyond this ground? Don’t you want to explore? I am going and I know you also want to join me.” Then he took an about turn and started running away from the stalls, periodically looking back to see as if I was coming or not.
I could not think of anything or anyone, so I just decided to follow him. Atleast he had a smile and wanted to explore beyond the ground, which was enough for me to take decision. His little steps by running didn’t take him farther and within no time I approached near him. I was surprised when he took me to a narrow opening in the fence. I had searched the exit before also but didn’t understand why I didn’t see it there. He crossed it and exclaimed back at me to cross it fast. Once again I listened to him without thinking much.
As we crossed the fence, a different world appeared before us. There were houses, roads, trees, mountains, rivers and everything but no people or any living being. Both of us started walking through the road. We saw a beautiful garden in a distance, the boy immediately ran towards it. I too walked behind him. We reached the garden, which was beautifully constructed with lush green mattress of grass and shady trees that had fruits on them. The boy was happier and excited too, so was I. After playing in the garden for a while, we lied down on the grass and watched the clouds on the sky. We talked about the beauty of that environment. I was so immersed in the moment that I wanted to behold it. I closed my eyes to absorb everything.
The silence of the surroundings was taking me to somewhere in the serenity of the vast space. I never wanted to open my eyes but I had to. I started speaking about the sky, the clouds, the depth of the space and the atmosphere. Still lying on the grass, I was explaining everything that was spontaneously coming from my mind. I felt a little strange because the boy was not responding. I got up to enquire about him. He was not there anymore. I shouted with all my strength, “Hey!” and stopped. I didn’t know his name nor I cared to ask, but now I was confused that how would I call him. I kept walking and calling, “Hey! Where are you?”
Although we had met only a few hours before but still somewhere I felt a responsibility and attachment for him. Humans are so weird beings, how can we feel attached to a person whom we have met a few hours ago, I thought. Then I saw an old house in the far end of that garden. I thought of checking it for once as I thought may be because of curiosity the boy went inside. Through the stairs I climbed the first floor of the old wooden house. It looked familiar. The floor, windows, doors and walls all seemed to be familiar as if I have been there before. And there he was, jumping on the floor, just like a child. He is just a child, I should have expected this behaviour from him, I thought and an expression of satisfaction came onto my face.
The boy then ran down the stairs, so did I. He kept running through the garden and suddenly stopped at a distance. I followed him and stopped beside him to see the reason. In a distance I could see some people gathered and sat around a fire place. The fire was not burnt properly and smoke was continuously coming out of the small fire place. There were many men, women and children. I could not see their faces, so I tried to move near them. And slowly their faces were revealed, “I recognize them!” I said to the boy. Staring at them for some more time I said, “They are my parents, my family, and my known! I’ve recalled them.” The boy looked at me in surprise.
They were sad and the environment was engulfed in a mysterious melancholy. A man was saying something and everybody else listened to him carefully. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t go near them. I wanted to talk to them as I used to do before. And the boy and I kept watching the entire scenario from a distance.
He asked, “What is happening there?” “I don’t know.” “Are they praying for you?” “Yes I think so.”
“But what difference has it made, we are here same as we were before. I can’t see any differences” exclaimed the boy.
“May be they can’t see us like we couldn’t see the dead when we were alive.”
“What will happen now?” he enquired. “I don’t know” with these words a silence broke out between us and we sat there only to watch everything and everyone.
After many hours, suddenly the sun started shining brighter and brighter. Both of us were dazzled by that bright light. And then I felt a force uplifting me. I got to know that now the time had come for me to go from that world. I remembered it from my life that after death our souls are brought to the almighty and then he decides our future fate. I was ready to be consumed into the almighty.
Slowly the force uplifted me to a greater height. The boy grabbed my clothes. I looked at him. His face was desolated as if he was saying me to stay back. With a smile, I tried to convince him, “I hope we will meet again soon.” And with that the force drew me towards the source of the light.
I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the moment in which I was floating in the space. No one around me, no one to snatch me back, no thoughts, no emotions, no feelings and nothing inside my mind – just the light and the weightlessness, the space and the infinity. And there I approached towards that infinity that I would never had known if I was alive.
Those were the winter months and finally my family decided to go out for a vacation. We went to visit my younger sister in Kota, Rajasthan. We stayed there for around four days. The city was dapper and well organised. There we could see studious teenagers walking or riding their bicycles around. The spacious city though was very close to the arid regions of the Thar Desert but still was greener and considerably vegetated.
We decided to stay for a day or two in Delhi as it fall on the way back to our home. Our plan was to roam around in the city and visit few famous spots; perhaps we ended up heading back a day earlier.
Delhi is the capital of India, one of the biggest metropolitan cities and inhabited by most of our ministers and delegates, along with million other public personnel. The city is fast, competitive and the biggest job providing hub in the country; at the same time it has become one of the most populated and polluted of the world. The concrete jungle stands all around upto the farthest space that could be visible. The city has become a web of never ending roads, buildings, paths and humans filling up the last possible spaces. I could see greens very rarely; moreover there was no space left to grow one. Everyone’s so busy in their works that they don’t even have time to think about such matters.
We arrived at Delhi in the early morning. The smoggy air was very dense. It was severely suffocating. There were places and moments when I had to cover my mouth with a cloth as the dense air was choking me out. I felt as if I had a severe lung problem. Although we already had heard about the severity of air pollution in the city but never had we imagined about the feeling of facing it.
Somehow, we managed to survive till the afternoon. Until then the density of the air had reduced a little, making the air slightly breathable. The uneasiness in that surrounding was very frustrating. We were astonished at the level of tolerance that the residents of the city have adopted to that silent killer which they were breathing anyhow.
What data says about Air Pollution :
According to WHO, 9 out of 10 people breathe highly polluted air and approximately 7 million people lose their lives each year worldwide by suffering from lungs and respiratory ailments, cancer and infections in their blood and lungs, which is just because of breathing unhealthy air. WHO has set a limit for the particulate matter (PM) in the air as 20µg/m3 for PM10 (includes dust particles, pollens etc.) and 10µg/m3 for PM2.5 (includes finer particles like nitrates, carbon black, sulphate).
Recently, WHO released its annual list of cities affected by air pollution; and surprisingly India’s many cities were in the top positions. Infact, all the top positions, from 1st to 14th for being the most polluted one, were grabbed by Indian cities and North India succeeded in winning the race. Delhi descended to the 6th position, but the level of PM that it had is stupefying, i.e., 143µg/m3 of PM2.5, which means more than 14 times than that of the recommended breathable air limit. Isn’t this bizarre!
Contributors to the Air Pollution :
Before knowing about the solution and ways to handle a problem, we must know its source. So, let’s have a look on the major contributors to the Air pollution.
Vehicular exhaust from those ever expanding individual fuel combusting private cars, taxis, bikes, scooty, jeeps, buses, trucks, autoriksha and everything on the road.
Decreasing plant population. Though there might be few trees alongside roads or gardens but they are not sufficient to absorb pollution and CO2 emitted by a population many times larger than them.
Smoke from industries and factories into work in the near-by areas.
Burning garbage, agricultural wastes, plastics, wood and other materials.
Carbon dioxide emissions through our breathing phenomenon which is increasing as the population density increases in the same area.
How we can contribute to reduce Air Pollution :
Air Pollution can no doubt be reduced if we pledge to take action at individual levels. There are so many basic things that we usually ignore which at a larger scale contributes to the bigger issues. So, quickly let’s have a look on things that we can do to control Air Pollution.
Plant as many plants as you can. Fill your home and every possible place with plants and trees, more the greens more will they help you. Try to plant trees in public areas too.
Always try car pooling; it’s an efficient way of reducing exhaust pollution. More the car pooling, fewer the vehicles on the roads and lesser the air pollution around.
Sometimes travel in public transportation vehicles like buses and trains. They are specifically running for the public from our taxes, moreover we learn new things around more people.
Use less taxis or cabs, if you are using them then try to share with others.
Avoid useless burning of agricultural wastes, garbage, rubbish, plastics. It will not help in de-cluttering the space but will contribute in building up poisonous air around you.
Try to use bicycles, they are the cleanest mode of transportation plus they have health benefits too.
Let us all contribute from our sides to reduce burdens on our environment. We are superior beings, so it’s our moral and social responsibility that we make our surroundings a better place to live in.
It was the evening of 6th December 2006. I was finishing up my project model of Science that was to be submitted the next day for the practical exam in my school. I was preparing the model from many weeks. I made it with thermocol so the mess from the cutting was spread all over the floor of my room. I was trying to clean it with a broom but instead of wiping everything off, the broom helped those particles to spread more into the corners and everywhere even in the unreachable spaces. I was periodically checking out the time on the clock. The thermocol particles were making me impatient as I was still left to study for the written practical exam. The struggle to clean up everything within a short time was truly challenging. Although we were having second terminal exams and the main board exams were far away upto two months but still the school and the teachers never missed out any chance to pressurize their students. Moreover, these kinds of activities were carried out to prepare us for the big thing that was coming soon in our life.
It was growing dark and I was still struggling with the thermocol mess. I was cursing myself for not taking enough precautions for cutting it. Actually that was not my fault, nobody had taught me the correct method. Suddenly, our telephone bell rang in another room. There was nobody around, so I picked it up. “Hello!” “Hey! I’m Shruti! Did you come to know about the news?”
“What news? I have no idea.” “My mother told me that some of our class boys met with an accident near the city and they were now admitted in the hospital where my mother works!” My eardrums suddenly opened up. I was confused and chilled at the same time. “What are you saying? I’m not getting anything?”
“Even I don’t know exact thing, but I’ll let you know about the updates as I get from my mother.” She exclaimed and hung the phone.
As I put the phone down, time stopped for a second. My brain went blank. After a minute or two I gained my consciousness and had a thought about what just happened. I decided to call Ritika, my best friend whom I trusted the most, to confirm about the news that Shruti just told me.
“Yes you heard it right! Ashish is also admitted in the hospital. I’m not confirmed but someone was saying that one of the boys with him is dead already!” said Ritika in a low tone. A cold chill ran through my body. My heartbeat increased rapidly. I was shocked to hear Ashish’s name as he had come to my home just a few hours ago to enquire about my project and discuss about the next day’s practical. As she hung the phone, my brain activity suddenly increased. Hundreds and thousands of things started popping up in my mind because of which I became extremely impatient. I went inside the kitchen then came back to the room and again walked to the kitchen in dilemma. I was shivering.
Suddenly my father walked in from outside. I at once told him everything that my classmates said on the phone. He nodded his head as if he already knew about everything. “Hmm, Seema mam called me and gave me the news!” “Now?” I enquired in desperation. “Let’s see!” and he went to the kitchen. I just watched him standing impatiently near the door. All my energy was draining out; I had no idea how to react. I went to my room and restlessly started putting things from here to there. The phone rang again. I literally jumped from my room to that room and picked up the call. My heart beat reached to its maximum pace level.
“He’s no more. I want to tell you the secret that he kept undisclosed between him and me. He liked you very much since his childhood but could not tell you!” sobbingly she said these words about the other fellow. I had no idea what to reply back. A sheer silence broke out between us. Once again my brain went blank. The only sounds that I could hear were that of the storm created inside my eardrums and that periodical sobbing voice from inside the phone. After few minutes she hung up the phone without saying anything more. I froze out and like a statue stood near the telephone for many minutes.
My parents came to that room where I stood, discussing about something very serious. I knew that they were talking about that accident only. Papa picked up his jeep keys and mumma wore her jacket. It seemed they were going somewhere, most probably to the hospital. I asked papa and he then said that he was firstly going to the school to pick our principal mam and then they would together go to the hospital. I asked him that I wanted to join them too. He said, “What you’ll do there? You stay here only!” I gave a look to convince him like a small child. And then he said, “Ok fine! Wear some more warm clothes first” I rushed to my room to get a pullover and then followed them to the jeep.
We reached the school in no time and waited for a while for mam. As she appeared near to the jeep, after watching me inside she exclaimed with a surprised look, “What are you doing here? Is she also going?” Papa nodded. She settled down in the front seat without asking anything anymore. My father was actually the secretary of the school and obviously he was an important personality who had to be equally present in all the school related issues. That day too principal called him to present along with her in the hospital.
We reached the civil hospital within half-an-hour. As we entered the building, I saw people rushing here and there, some crying hardly and some sympathising the others. They all were unknown faces even to my parents and mam. She called someone to know about the exact location where we had to go. She hung up immediately and exclaimed, “Anurag’s dead body is already taken by his parents to his home. And others injured are admitted to a private hospital.” Everybody rushed towards the jeep and headed towards the hospital that was located just a few kms away. Until then I didn’t know exactly who-who were injured neither I knew about the reason and the location of that accident.
When we entered the hospital we saw a huge crowd of known faces. They were our village neighbours and Ashish’s family tree and few of my classmates. Many of them were crowded near the staircase. I went near to enquire and peeped through the shoulders of the six-feeters’. There I saw few nurses operating the external wounds of Ashish, who was lying on a stretcher. I was a little relieved to see him conscious. The nurses dispersed the crowd and requested them to settle down. Now his face was clearly visible to me. His face cramped and trembled as if he was feeling an immense pain as the nurses operated his lower body parts. I could feel his pain just from his expressions. Papa pulled me to go to him and talk. I slowly walked towards the right side of his stretcher and stopped near his shoulder. He looked at me with hopeful eyes and I gave him a faded smile to console him that everything will be alright.
After few minutes, the nurses took him to the operation theatre that was located just beside the staircase. Everyone’s heart started pumping fast. The doctors took many hours to operate him. Meanwhile we settled down in the benches in the hospital’s hallway. Mumma sat beside his mother. She was crying endlessly and mumma was consoling her. I had never seen such a scenario in my life. My heart was pondering so much. I had no idea what and how I should react in that scenario. Still I went near to his mother and put my hands on her shoulders to let her know that I somewhere understood her pain and fear.
Some of my classmate boys were standing in the lobby and discussing about something. I went to them to know about everything. They told me that few boys went to the city and while returning back Anurag lost his control over his scooter and collided with the parapet on the roadside.
I then went to my father. He was discussing about the arrangement of the blood as asked by the surgeons. Everyone was then calling their knowns for the blood of that specific group. He was having a rare blood group of O negative. Seema mam and his father’s blood matched, so they went to the blood bank for extraction. Meanwhile everyone started vanishing and at last only a few of us including his family, classmate boys and my family were left. It was getting colder. We all sat in the cold metalled benches in the open lobby of the hospital hall.
I was just thinking about the past events and our school days. I remembered a glimpse of Anurag staring at me from the first bench in the last free period, and noticing him doing that I ignored it as if he was just lost in his own world. I never got a clue neither I ever cared about these kind of stuffs. But now everything from the past was just a history and nothing could be extracted from it anymore. That chapter of my life was shut close without even opening up. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and diverted my mind to Ashish. I prayed to god to save my best friend cum brother as I could not even imagine life without his guidance and naughty fights.
In the meantime Seema mam came back from the blood bank. I didn’t notice her coming but she saw me sitting alone with my eyes closed for praying. She noticed the fear and tension in me so she tried to distract my mind by sending me to the upper floor of the hospital to a room where our third classmate, who was also hurt in the accident, was being treated. I went to the door of the room, then hesitated as I was all alone and even didn’t know what to say. I accumulated all my courage and knocked the door. And it opened at once. There were many of his family members sitting and standing all over the room. I got stumbled but many of them were the familiar faces so within no time I became comfortable. I saw Virender on the hospital bed, unconscious with so many bandages around his head, hands and legs. I was about to say some consoling words to his parents but instead they started comforting me by saying that he was and would be fine very soon. Their positive words literally helped me to get some relief.
After some time I came back to my parents who were seated in the hospital’s lobby. Just when I reached near them the door of the operation theatre opened. We all ran towards it. From inside, few nurses came out along with Ashish on a stretcher. Few male attendents helped them to relocate him to a room in the upper floor. They took him through the staircase in a hurry and organised him in a room. Then they dispersed out the entire crowd that had again gathered around the room. They consoled that the operation was successful but they would further comment about his condition only when he gains his consciousness. But still most of us were relieved. After knowing about him, papa and mam decided to go to Anurag’s house.
The silence of the lonely roads that took us towards his apartment in the colony was haunting me. It was not that I was afraid of the dead but the heart tearing wailing voices of his family and everyone around was definitely stressing me out. For the first time in my life I was about to witness a scene that neither I had imagined nor had that courage to handle. My heartbeat was getting faster and faster as we started walking towards his apartment from our jeep. As we approached near, the loud voices of crying and the laments could be heard clearly. My body started shivering.
We enterterd the hall of the apartment and found many people crying and standing everywhere. Just in front were his mother and sister weeping loudly in the absence of consciousness. The scene was extremely disturbing; my heart was about to get out of my body, so I immediately went out of the hall. I wiped my tears as two off my class girls came near me. We supported and sympathised each other. One of their neighbours comforted us by taking to his apartment and gave us blankets and a heater.
We came back home in the late midnight. I could not sleep the whole night. My parents slept with me to comfort me.
In the early morning papa and ma started discussing about the incident while still on bed. It seemed they too could not sleep that night. I was awake too but they thought that I might be sleeping. And then they heard some shouting. Papa said, “O..O.. I think that happened” But doctors said that he was alright thinking this I froze out on my bed. Then his phone rang, he immediately picked it up and jumped out of his bed. Mumma too went out behind him. I was still frozen on my bed with the stream and rivers endlessly flowing from my eyes. I was getting impatient, so went out of the bed to the other room and then to the bathroom in the ground floor. I wanted to cry hard, very hard so I locked myself inside and tried to loosen my heart. But that was not comforting me. My sister knocked at the bathroom door so, I wiped my tears and tried to pretend that everything was normal.
I came out and stood at the backside of the house. The reality was not acceptable to me. I didn’t want to believe it anymore but my eyes were not coordinating with my brain and heart. They were emitting out the burning tears. One of my immediate neighbours saw me there. She called my mother. Once again I wiped all my tears and pretended to be normal. When my mother came out, I requested her to go to his house which was just a few steps from ours. While walking with her I tried to control my feelings not shedding a single tear. But as we reached his house, the voices of crying once again ignited the stream of tears and my eyes started betraying me. Mumma didn’t take me near the crowd because she knew that I would not be comfortable there. I too didn’t have the courage to face his family and relatives who were in immense pain.
Then Shruti came running from the road. We saw each other and hugged ourselves tight. That was the moment which took away all the energy from my body. My hands and legs went numb and they became stiff that I could not them at all. My head started spinning around and I could not breathe properly. I was literally stuck in that position. She tried to release herself from me, even I wanted to but my body was not coordinating with my brain. At last she forced herself away. But my hands were still frozen in that position. Everybody started moving inside to his house but I was stuck with a new problem. Somehow I forced my legs to move but hands were still up in the air. I took two-three deep breaths to calm my body down. Then I entered the room where his dead body was laid. The moment was extremely heartbreaking. I wished he could open his eyes. Never had I cried that hard, my emotions were not under my control. After sometime papa took me away from that place as he saw me extremely disturbed.
Losing a brother and a friend is very depressing thing. Accepting the reality of death was very difficult for me at that point of time. Even for many years I dreamt of him normally playing and laughing with me as if he had never gone. And most of the times I believed those dreams as real. After more than a decade, he is still alive in my memories. Some of his words still motivate me difficult situations of my life.
From that incidence I learnt a very important and a life changing lesson, that we humans are just material beings. And there exists a supreme being who is sitting above us all, who has already set our life’s journey, path and time. We always plan things for our future but are overconfident about the existence of that future.
Prakriti Writes 